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You’re not unmotivated. You are just unaware of what your true motivations are, and how to meet them your needs while still achieving your goals.
You are not unmotivated.
You’re just subconsciously committed to things other than the habit that you’re trying to cultivate. It’s impossible to not be motivated for something. Even if that something is avoidance of failure, the need for rest or leisure – you are not unmotivated.
Fighting these motivations will simply shoot you in the foot. You can’t stop wanting something, you can’t reject a need and expect it to go away.
Stop thinking about ‘laziness’ as an avoidance-problem, and start thinking about it as an approach-problem. What do you gain from the actions you take when you label it ‘procrastination’?
Sometimes, people who think of themselves as procrastinators are perfectionists with the habit of avoiding trying, to ensure they won’t fail. But they’re not just avoiding failure: they are approaching their own sense of self worth and pride.
So the question is not:
- How can I stop fearing failure?
The question is:
- How can I feel a sense of worth, even if I fail?
The first question creates resistance. You can’t focus on not wanting something. It’s a bit like asking you not to think about a pink elephant. No, stop thinking about it now.
See how well that worked?
No – the only way to adapt your behaviour is to understand the motivations behind that behaviour, and to adapt it so that you can have what you need, and still achieve your goals. You can’t win a win-lose scenario with yourself.
You’ll just end up at square one; because eventually, the need will resurface. And this time, it will be indirect, unconscious and most likely inefficient.
If you want to read more about how to integrate resistance – then check out this blogpost.
Validate Your Needs
Every desire and need you have is there to serve you. Shift your mindset from judging the less acceptable parts of yourself into asking ‘how does this serve me?’
Now. Just because the core motivation serves you, does not mean that you aren’t meeting the need through unhealthy coping mechanisms.
That’s what manipulation is: Unhealthy, indirect ways of meeting your needs.
- Someone who guilt-trips feels could feel the need for validation and care, but does not believe they can receive it freely, so they must trigger it in others indirectly. How can I feel cared for while still respecting other’s boundaries?
- Someone who gaslights is terrified of taking accountability because to make mistakes as a kid was horribly painful for them. Indirectly, they are fulfilling the need to preserve themselves. How can I feel ok and still take accountability?
- Someone who is selfish is in a scarcity mindset: to believe that in order to be OK, I must push against others to get what I want. I can’t have others and have myself. How can I have what I want in ways that are compatible with what others want?
The Moment You Sense Resistance – Pause.
If there’s a dread, a hard feeling or a resistance against your goals – it’s time to work through resistance first. (how to set goals you actually want to achieve).
Don’t think I’m saying this loosely.
Let’s Give A Personal Example:
I’d been in a push-and-pull relationship with exercising for a long time. I would start exercising after a long period of sickness, do so vigorously, then get sick again.
This loop trapped me for years. I couldn’t commit fully to my physical skills because everytime I did – every step I took – made me fall back immediately after because of injury or sickness.
So a couple of months ago, I decided to try something different.
I started my workout – and attuned to the sensations in my body. I could start working out, and the moment I felt even the slightest sliver of hardness or resistance in my body, I would pause, pick out a journal and start working through it.
Let’s say it was a long, not that intense workout session.
I realized that strength training felt like self-punishment, rather than something I did out of self love. To release this energetic contradiction, I switched the workout to a dance workout. That was a lot more fun.
I processed the shame of having fallen off, limiting beliefs regarding my own body and thoughts that felt like self-punishment. Every Time there was resistance, I patiently paused and worked through it until I was in a good headspace before continuing the workout.
The next time I worked out, there was less pauses – because I had less resistance to what I was doing.
And the next time again, there was little to none.
And guess what? Even if it felt counterproductive at the time, working through my resistance first and adapting my behaviour after my needs and actual motivations broke the loop.
I now consistently work out without getting sick – meaning that although the progress was slower in the beginning because I was pausing often, it made me a lot more progress in the long run because I prevented relapse.
If you want a deep-dive into how to think when taking action when manifesting, then I have a blogpost for you here.
I want you to do the same thing with…
- Studying
- Your work
- Your creative projects
- Your new habits
- Your new eating habits
- Your spiritual practices
And everything in between.
Another Reason You Might Be Unmotivated: You don’t have a clear vision
Our brain prefers immediate rewards to long-term ones. And when you’re facing a tough decision between falling back into old routines or moving toward your wish fulfilled, you need a simple and clear vision to fall back on to remind yourself why you’re pursuing your goal.
You need a vision to call forth that’s:
- Clear
- Simple
- Emotionally impactful
To learn how to create this vision, check out this post for the moment method.
What Is Your True Desire?
Another reason why you may feel unmotivated is because you’re pursuing a goal that you do not want.
- You may want to be the type of person who’d desire the goal.
- Or you like the idea of what achieving the goal would mean to you.
- But you’re not actually passionate about the goal.
Self help should help you find your ideal lifestyle: Not just help you achieve milestones.
If you find yourself continuously falling off routinesor having to ‘discipline’ yourself into habits, then you might be pursuing a goal that you don’t desire or that isn’t actually compatible with your personal passion and happiness.
- You can’t punish your body into a body you love.
- You can’t trap yourself in a job you hate for financial freedom.
- You can’t sacrifice yourself for a relationship that values your authentic self.
Thease are all energetic contradictions. Your actions need to attune you with the emotional signature of your wish fulfilled. For more on taking action when manifesting – and also what energetic contradictions are – check out this blogpost.
For more information on How to set goals you actually want to achieve – check out this blogpost.
Was This Helpful?
In the future, I’ll write a blogpost on how to set goals through this method. Feel free to join the email list if you want a notification when that post is released.
If this content helped you, you may like the posts below. You may also like my YouTube channel, where I post advice like this and also subliminals.
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