The Coping Mechanisms
Have you ever struggled to make your characters feel real? One of the biggest challenges in character development is ensuring they react to situations in unique, believable ways.
People have different ways of dealing with stress in real life—some lash out, others shut down, and some pretend nothing is wrong. These are called coping mechanisms, and they can be powerful tools in storytelling.
In this post, we’ll discuss 10 key coping mechanisms, explain how they affect character behaviour, and give you practical ways to make your characters more distinct and memorable.
COPING MECHANISM 1. DISPLACEMENT
To displace an emotion means to act it out on something that didn’t cause it.
Ex: A boss yells at one of their employees. The employee can’t act out their frustration on the problem (the boss), so they go home to release their frustration on their kids instead, who forgot to wash the dishes.
One way to pressure a character that regularly uses displacement into action is to block/remove every unrelated emotional outlet until they have to face the actual problem.
COPING MECHANISM 2. DENIAL
To deny is to rewrite the narrative to your liking. You can deny that something exists, that something happened, or that something is a problem.
Ex.
- A government official claims that a particular societal problem doesn’t exist to avoid responsibility for said problem.
- A wife denies ever saying (insert something hurtful) to her partner when confronted about it. Alternatively, she claims it was “just a joke.”
- A friend denies that their self-sacrificing tendencies are becoming problematic for their well-being through “I’m fine.”
A character may deny that the consequences of their actions exist (or that they are severe). They may deny flaws in a system they partake in or flat-out deny that they did something.
How long will your character deny the consequences of their actions? Will they let the world burn to remain attached to their current habits/loyalties? What must they lose before the truth becomes less painful than their comforting lie?
COPING MECHANISM 3. Repression
To repress a memory means that you have no memory of what happened.
A character might have an extreme phobia but not remember when or why they developed this phobia because they repressed the memory.
What happens when the memory comes rushing back?
COPING MECHANISM 4. Suppression
Suppressing is similar to repressing, but it’s conscious.
A grieving character might push grief aside because ‘there are more important things that need to get done right now’.
Ex. The leader of the group in an apocalyptic world keeps avoiding processing a traumatic event because “there are more important things that need to get done right now.” In the beginning, this may be true. They had to leave someone behind to save the rest of the group.
But as time goes on, the leader grows restless. Now, they are seeking endless to-do’s to continue avoiding the emotion. They can’t afford to break down right now, not when they have responsibility for the group.
It inevitably leads to burnout.
The key difference between Repression and suppression is that suppression is a conscious choice, whereas repression can occur without the person realizing it.
What happens when the character suddenly has nothing to do? And most importantly – the character survived the war. But can they survive the peace that comes after? Do they dare leave the battle behind to face their trauma – or will they revert to another coping mechanism?
COPING MECHANISM 5. Sublimination
The character deems their instinctive impulse unacceptable, so they find a socially acceptable outlet.
- An example of sublimation could be a character vigorously running when angry instead of expressing it – because anger is socially unacceptable in their life.
- Sublimination could also be a character who thinks showing fear or sadness is wrong, so the character expresses anger instead. In this case, anger is the socially acceptable response, while vulnerability is not.
- Using sublimation is a way to incorporate cultural values into fantasy worlds. What emotions are favoured? What emotions are unacceptable to express in public?
What are the consequences of never saying what you feel? Of never facing the actual problem? What happens when there is nothing to do but deal with the problem head-on?
COPING MECHANISM 6. Projection
To project is to believe everyone else is feeling something, not recognizing that you are the one who feels that thing.
- Character A has a crush on character B but doesn’t recognize this. So A thinks B has a crush on them instead.
- You are irritated, so you believe everyone else is irritated.
- A is jealous of B, but they are projecting, so A believes that the opposite is true: That B is jealous of A.
- A character might be insecure about being viewed as a failure, so they perceive everyone else around them as a failure (or think people view them as a failure).
What happens when you are proven wrong?
COPING MECHANISM 7. Intellectualization
To intellectualize is to remove emotion from the equation.
- A doctor may intellectualize by focusing on treating an illness rather than seeing a patient as a person because they don’t want personal attachment to the outcome.
- Character A consoles their friend by focusing on problem-solving instead of validating their friend’s emotional experiences.
- Upon being asked about a hypothetical issue, a character that intellectualizes their emotions might delve into explaining what they would do in a situation rather than what they would feel.
- “How would you feel if all of this fails?” “I would do XYC to make sure it doesn’t fail.”
What happens when you can’t solve the problem? When you couldn’t avoid the bad thing from happening? What happens when you fail, and there is no longer anything you can do to fix it?
COPING MECHANISM 8. Rationalization
To rationalize means to explain a situation in a way that does not bruise your confidence.
- To go on a job interview for a position that you want, get rejected, and then rationalize the situation by claiming that you never wanted the position in the first place.
- To flirt with a person, get rejected, and then claim that the person wasn’t that attractive.
A character that uses rationalization will attribute every success to talent and blame every failure on external influences. A dangerous thing; because they will always escape accountability and growth for their actions in their haste to protect their crumbling self-worth (or lack thereof).
To avoid personal responsibility is to avoid shame and growth. What happens when a character realizes their part in the situation? What happens when the people who rejected them, who they rationalized were “bad” people, become successful?
COPING MECHANISM 9. Regression
Regression is when a character returns to an earlier stage of development or acts younger than they are.
- Regressing to an old pattern of behaviour (a character who has grown gets tossed into their old gang and suddenly acts like their old self)
- Comfort items (like teddy’s)
- (For comfort) Performing activities, eating foods or interacting with objects/movies that remind the character of their childhood)
- Pouting, tantrums and whining
- Using a childlike voice
- Suddenly, they mistrust their competence.
- Regression can be a powerful way to highlight character development. Shove them into an old situation, have them adapt in old ways, then have them realise it and break free – breaking the pattern once and for all.
Regression can be subtle. Just think back to your last family holiday. Perhaps the people seated around the table have grown tremendously over the years, but the moment their brain notices an old scenario, it reverts to old patterns.
And suddenly, your adult brother acts like he’s 14, trying to get his Father’s attention. Suddenly, your now independent and balanced sister returns to being the family’s codependent helper.
What happens when old mechanisms no longer work in new situations? What happens when things that used to comfort the character no longer work?
COPING MECHANISM 10. Reaction Formation
Reaction formation occurs when a character acts out the opposite of their feelings.
- A hates B but can’t risk expressing it since it would come with social consequences (because everyone else seems to like B). So, instead, A acts overly friendly to B to compensate for her dislike.
- Another example is overconfidence, which compensates for insecurity.
What happens when everything you express to the world is a lie?
Final Word
When you start thinking about your characters through the lens of coping mechanisms, their reactions become more natural—and more unique.
What coping mechanisms do your characters rely on? What happens when those mechanisms fail? Exploring their psychological defence mechanisms is a great place to start if you want to write complex, dynamic characters.
Go through your current story and identify your characters’ coping mechanisms. How do these behaviours shape their story?”
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